Before we started to try to have children, I hoped for 4.  FOUR!  Three would be my compromise, I had decided.  Optomistic and ambitious, right?

But getting to the first one took so long that I bargained with the powers that be for just one.

As soon as Emery was born I knew I wanted another.  Lucky for me, the bargain for one fell through as I became pregnant again.

And when I was pregnant with Eve, I once again imagined 4 children, my house filled with the sounds of  squeals, laughter and bare feet slapping the tile as they played.

But something happened when Eve was born.  Something as in a feeling I’d never felt before: a feeling of enough.

And I know that I am finished wanting children.  It’s difficult to grasp such a concept when wanting children was the bane of my existence not so long ago, but nevertheless, it’s where I am.

My heart is so full.  I’ve got sisters to raise and daughters to hold and I honestly don’t want for anything else. 

Well, except for a new blog.  With pretty fonts and bright colors.  A new place to celebrate Emery and Eve as I weave through this path of motherhood.  A place that doesn’t include the documentation of all my old doubts and desperation.  A place that better reflects the woman I have become: content, delighted, full.

I hope you will come along for the ride:   http://fullarmsfullheart.com/

Advertisement